This is a LOVE STORY I have been waiting to share!!!!
October 19, 2010 Baby Liam come in to the world at 2:47 am! He arrived into the soft loving arms of his momma and snuggled on HER chest with a peace that was over whelming! Liam knew where he was! He was not crying, he was so very calm, he just looked into his moms eyes and heard her voice and knew just exactly where he was! I have witnessed a few conversations Liam has had with his mom but I KNOW there have been MANY others that were private and sacred that no one will ever know or hear except Katie and Liam!
Last July Tom and I were asked if we would be able to have a young woman come live with us who was pregnant and who had been struggling with a chemical addiction. Her name is Katie! She was no longer using but was in a difficult situation.
With her permission I am able to share her story! I do so in hopes that people will come to understand the LOVE of a "Birth Mother" and come to an understanding of what we call Earthly Angels! The pain she has gone through in the past five or so years has been very difficult to say the least. Most of her difficulties were from some of the decisions Katie had made for her self.
Let me make this clear to everyone.... there is a purpose to this post! This post is just not about what has gone on in my life the last four months or so... This post is about helping this world we live in understand several views... But most of all the feeling and heart of a Birth Mother... It is a "Love Story"! A mothers love that no one will understand unless... you have placed a baby into the arms of an adoptive mother that will raise your baby for the Eternities!
When we were first asked about Katie coming to live with us I will tell you I was not quite sure about having a addict come live with us! For the first ten years or so of of my marriage and before Tom became a memeber of our church, Tom struggled with a chemical addiction. But through the help of the Lord, and the Atonement and his baptism... Tom was able to get help and NEVER use again! So Tom was very willing to help if he could as long as Katie continued to progress.
Tom and I had decided that we would first meet Katie and then we would pray about our decision on whether or not she would live with us! Katie came over and we spoke with her. We told her if she moved in with us that we realized that she was 25 years old and had been living on her own for quite sometime but... if she was to be in our home she would have to go back to some house rules! The rules were she had to continue her twice a week random drug screens and her 12 step support groups and continue to go to all of her church meetings and... for those who knows me.... pick up after her self!!! I also told her that we would not enable her in anyway so... if she had a U.A. that came back positive she could no longer live with us! I also told her I did not want her to be in her room all day that I expected her to be part of our family!
After meeting Katie and her family that morning Tom and I both knew from just meeting and talking to her that we did not need any further time to decide whether or not we would have her live with us, we could feel her love and we knew we would grow to love her and that all would be well! We told her...Katie we WELCOME you!
From the day she moved in she was part of our family!
In the months Katie has lived here, she has brought a joy to our home in many different ways! Even on her worst days of being big and pregnant,dealing with the birth dad, or just not feeling so well she still had a positive attitude! Anyone that can live with Tamy Scheurn for any length of time without telling me to "just "SHUT UP" and to be quiet and quit telling them what to do".... Has to be a fantastic, patience person! Katie and I never had one heated conversation. I am sure there were days Katie wanted to tell me to jump off a cliff but... Some how Katie was able to hold on to her peace and stayed calm with me!. For anyone that knows me well knows they needs a "fire wall" around them when I give them my opinion and advise! This is something I need to work on.... I do know this!
There has never been a day since Katie has lived with me that she did not say to me... What can I do for you, do you need me to do anything around the house, and she would never come home without calling me and asking me, "Would you or Tom like a slurpee, I am on my way home"!
I do have to admit there were times where I would say..."Katie how is your laundry coming" and she always took the clue well! In other words..." Katie get you laundry done , for HELL Sakes"!
We are happy for Katie she has completed her mandated support group classes but she still continues to go to gospel based support groups and she has not failed to go to church since she has lived here! Even the day before she had Liam, I knew she was so very uncomfortable at church and I kept telling her to take my car home and I would get a ride home but.... What a trooper she stayed for all three meetings anyway! What a CHAMP, in Walkers words!
Katie had been married and had a little boy, Kade who is a cute mommy boy! Almost three years ago as Katie was getting a divorce due to an abusive husband she found her self pregnant again, but knew she had to continue with her divorce. Her husband ended up in prison and she was doing all she could to support Kade and herself! As the time approached to have her baby Katie, came to realize she could not give this baby all she deserved! Katie loved this baby she was carrying and a month before Katie had her little girl, Katie decided she wanted MORE for her baby! Katie wanted her little girl to have a mother and a father and give her things she was unable to give to her baby!
Here is where the FIRST LOVE STORY starts! Katie was at her sisters house and saw a picture of a couple on a Christmas card that was on her sister Merri's refrigerator. Katie's asked her sister why they did not have kids. Merri explained they were unable to have there own children and they had been trying for nine years! As Katie looked at the picture she knew that was the couple she wanted to PLACE her baby with if they were interested in adopting!
The next day Merri called this her friend Dara.... and asked if she would be interested in adopting Katie's baby! They were thrilled and said....YES!!! The only problem was they were not certified and usually it can take six months! Katie had been on bed rest due to the high risk of her pregnancies. So Dara contacted Family Service where she lived in Utah! With the help of the Lord... Jim and Dara, the adoptive couple were certified in thirty days....witch is un-heard of ! The day after they were certified Katie's baby was born! A few days later Katie with more pain in her heart and more love than anyone could imagine....Katie did the MOST Selfless thing anyone mom could ever do.... Katie PLACED her sweet baby girl into the arms of of her new Eternal moms arms, and Katie kissed her baby girl good-by!
It has been a VERY OPEN adoption thanks to the help from our church and Dara and Jim... things went so very well. Our church very much supports OPEN ADOPTION.
Even though things went well and the adoption is so OPEN... Katie stuffed away her emotions and did not continue the counseling the church provides. Katie had a down hill spiral and started using again! With her choice to use again she found her self unable to take care of her three year old. So her family stepped in to help with him. Katie also due to the fact she started to use again and in doing so.... she began to make some poor decisions. These people Katie was hanging around with did not have the same morals and standards she was raised with! Before long Katie found her self pregnant again. Katie quickly stop using when she realized she was pregnant,with the exception of a few times.... her mind was clear and she knew she needed to make some BIG changes in her life! At this time this is when the court stepped into her life as well, and she was mandated to classes and drug screens!
The second "Love Story" starts here! Katie wanted so badly to parent this baby! She was no longer using and Katie has been a wonderful parent to Kade but... she also knew how important it is to have a father with good standards and morals like her dad... and she knew that she would not be able to provide this for her baby!
Katie has a VERY OPEN adoption and relationship with Jim and Dara who adopted Katie's little girl! They call Katie several time a week and read each others blogs and send pictures! Katie wanted nothing more than to raise this baby she was carrying but in her heart she also knew what she wanted this baby to have.... MORE! It is amazing to see the love and friendship the adoptive couple have with Katie and her family!
So after several months of prayer Katie asked Jim and Dara if they would be interested in adopting the baby she was carrying... and... of course over joyed at the thought of a new baby they thought they would never have, They said YES!!!! Jim and Dara named him Liam and knew from that moment on Liam was suppose to be with their family!
In my calling, I have witness miracles! It is NOT BY CHANCE these babies are adopted! I know without doubt that the trials Katie has gone through.... there has been a reason for them! I am sure Katie knew prior to coming to earth she would go through these trials so Jim and Dara could have a ETERNAL family complete with children! Katie has made so many scarifies so Jim and Dara could have children! Again THIS PLAN IS NOT BY CHANCE!!!
Back to the LOVE STORY....
As this week has gone on... I am sure Katie has shed at least a million tears! As I have watched this week go on... Katie has not been the only one to shed many tears! Again remember this is a Love Story and so all who are involved is effected in some way. Katie's parents, Katie's sisters, who are extremely supportive of Katie's choices have shed many tears as well.
Katie's mom and two sisters, Merri and Natalie, Dara, Katie's sister Tiffany who lives in CO. was on skye, and I were in the labor room with her all night! As I sat through the night with Katie as she was waiting for Liam to arrive.... I did not realize I would be so effected my self. I guess working with birth moms several other times you would think I would be able to control my emotions better than I did! But... Seeing Katie go through this labor knowing that she would place her baby in the arms of another mom.... Was difficult for me to watch! As Katie was approaching the time to push and as she prepared for delivery it became very emotional in the room. There was a quiet peace that was in room and the spirit was palpable! The Love between Katie and Dara was apparent and it was unspoken in that moment but yet.... You could feel the LOVE of the Savior and Heavenly Father so strongly,we could feel THEIR arms around us. this baby was bringing Heaven into the room!
The LOVE between Katie and Dara was amazing to witness as well!
Dara being a labor and delivery nurse her self was able to deliver Liam. As Liam came into this world Dara laid Liam up on Katie's chest and cut the cord. Liam was so calm and peaceful! I am sure he could feel the love of his two mothers as he arrived! I can tell you this night was a SPIRITUAL FEAST!!!
Once Liam was born and we all held him and then we left the hospital so Katie and her mom and sister and Liam could have alone time. I know Katie has not put Liam down for more that a few minutes at a time! I am sure their talks have been intimate and tender!
Katie had a placement ceremony yesterday October 23, 2010 where all of Katie;s family, Dara and Jim and Tom and I and the case worker Audra, were there! Again the Love Story continued!!! I know as happy as Jim and Dara are to raise and have Liam sealed to them....The tears they shed were for Katie this day! Knowing what Katie has done for them and knowing the pain Katie is going through as Katie Places Liam into Dara's and Jim's arms!
We all shared our testimony of the Lords plan and how we knew adoption was part of Katie's and Jim and Dara's plan. The tears in the room were uncontrollable! As Tom was the second one to speak the words were so difficult for him to express but he said he had never witness such STRENGTH and LOVE! We all felt the same way! We all just sat and watched Katie hold Liam.... holding on to every second she has with him as she signed the final paper work. Dara will stay down here for 2 or 3 more weeks so Katie will have some extra time with him! The wonderful thing is since this adoption is so OPEN.... I am sure there will be many more visits!
Is there such a thing as a HAPPY SAD as I have read before??? Yes there is!!!
Birth Mothers also known as Earthly Angels have a LOVE for their child that is indescribable! It is the most unselfish act a mother can do is give their baby MORE and PLACE their baby in the arms of another mother.
If there is ANYTHING I want EVERYONE to understand that is.... These EARTHLY ANGELS That PLACE their baby in the arms of an adoptive couple..... It is the HARDEST, SELFLESS, act they will ever do! If ANYONE thinks that a Birth Mother is GIVING away her baby.... You could not be MORE WRONG!!!! These birth mothers / EARTHLY ANGELS do not GIVE their baby away... They LOVE their babies so much that they want to give their baby MORE and so these EARTHLY ANGELS PLACE..... their babies in the arms of their Eternal mom and dad they were meant to be with!
